Wednesday, January 28, 2004
hasnt been updating for quite a few days.... coz i dunno wat to write and y am i writing... suddenly feel that it seem pointless writing a blog.... perhaps i might stop soon...

anyway didnt really enjoys my days...my work on tue and wed turned out to be rather dissapointing... and somehow i found myself sinking and sinking deeper into the feeling i try to hide...

schoolwork are piling up too...but i am still... slacking and slacking away.... school sux... life sux.... i try to be positive... but the negatives pull me down....

suddenly tot of the past too... thou there werent many unforgetable memories... i really miss them.. but none of us are making the move... perhaps its my fault again... but i feel so tired and scare... i still cant break the barrier of my heart.... its not that i dun care....
colleen added colour at 11:58 PM

Sunday, January 25, 2004

Your wings are BROKEN and tattered. You are
an angelic spirit who has fallen from grace for
one reason or another - possibly, you made one
tragic mistake that cost you everything. Or
maybe you were blamed for a crime you didn't
commit. In any case, you are faithless and
joyless. You find no happiness, love, or
acceptance in your love or in yourself. Most
days are a burden and you wonder when the
hurting will end. Sweet, beautiful and
sorrowful, you paint a tragic and touching
picture. You are the one that few understand.
Those that do know you are likely to love you
deeply and wish that they could do something to
ease your pain. You are constantly living in
memories of better times and a better world.
You are hard on yourself and self-critical or
self-loathing. Feeling rejected and unloved,
you are sensitive, caring, deep, and despite
your tainted nature, your soul is
breathtakingly beautiful.


*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

*its rather true sadly :( *
colleen added colour at 11:43 PM

Thursday, January 22, 2004
its new year today... but sadly i dun feel any cny mood and am now rotting at home...beginning to really believe that this gonna be a bad yr?? dunno y i keep having this kind of negative thoughts recently... so much things has happen too..forget it shall not tok abt it.. wats the point...

didnt had my reunion dinner this yr too.. but well..it juz another dinner... was working ... reaches sakura at 2 then slack awhile coz i was early then felicia came... suppose to start work at 3 but then at ard 230 we start doin the cutlery... at first was wondering y we came so early coz we open at 530... but towards the end... time was rushing out ... had to prepare yu sheng for all those tables..haa..kinda fun... but i only help put the packets of powder beside it.. hee.. then a while later changed and start to get ready to open up.. the que is already very long ... hoho... then i was hosting.. hmz.. busybusy.. then johnny asked me to take a basket and fill it with oranges then gave to every table... haha.. kinda fun... but the basket is damm heavy lo.. even heavier than all those plates we usually clear... imagine walking ard the whole restaurant and havin to refill and go again... my poor hand..

then at ard 7pm, all the guests start to leave and we had to prepare for the next session that starts at 8pm... we had to clear, set, wipe cutlery and prepare yu sheng all in abt 30 mins... rush here rush there..i think this is the first time that we did so much thing in such a short while and everyone was sweating and pespring.. but the sense of achievement was great after we finish.. this time , the queue was even longer!!! there was so much pple and the place was so squeezy.. hmz.. then when almost all the guest had settle down, i started my oranges girl duties again... haha.. and then johnny asked me to give to his fren hu was dining there.. and he gave me a ang bao... haha.. my first one .. feel happy not becoz of the ang bao becoz of johnny actions.. haha.. anyway... my arms hurt more lo... but still gotta carry those heavy plates... so many manz.. cant seem to finish clearing... and with each round, i carry lesser and lesser plates, coz my hand really cmi liao...hmz... think i shall not elaborate anymore...

thou i spent my new year eve working this yr, i think i enjoyed it much more than the usual... =)
colleen added colour at 5:33 PM

Thursday, January 15, 2004
actually wrote sth yest but some how accidentally deleted it... but oh well.. its nth positive so its better that its not post up.... somehow wasnt in a rather good mood yest night... thinking abt lottas stuff that has always been in my heart and not cleared or spoken abt... it's still there... but i guess i will try to stop thinking abt it...

mood was slightly better today.. but as usual i am not concentratin in sch again.. listening.. but my mind always drift away.. how am i goin to pass my sem like this...finishes at 11 today so headed down to sakura after having lunch...

act suppose to work at night only but since i was there early johnny asked me to train my cashering... and somehow being there cheer me up better... esp when i talk to farris.. he really make me very comfortable when i tok to him thou we keep suaning each other and stuff.. but he's gonna go to ns soon... thats so sad... will surely miss him... 3 collegues resigned today.. 2 goin to ns and 1 goin to sch... gonna miss those times working with them... went to the john little sale at expo too during the split with felicia... sitting on her bike is kinda cool...hee..but kinda dangerous too... still not use to it....

hmz..all in all..i enjoyed my work today... esp during the last part... i feel so at ease.... which set me thinking... am i really cut out for studying? but well... its better to hav a diploma at least.... my heart still feel heavy despite all....
colleen added colour at 11:43 PM

tdae was a really bad day for me... i cant seems to be able to fit into anywhere.... but then again...this is when i shld learn to have that independance i am lackin...

haiz.. and ya right.. my bad feeling was right.. i am in the same grp as her... had she change for the better? this i dunno... all i noe is that i am a person hu cant hide my feelings and somehow it will be very obvious when i dun like a particular person.. i noe this is very bad...
but thats how i am...and i dun think i can force myself to change that.. y am i juz so lucky...
that awkardness is there... mayb as wat sy had said, "hmm..then put urself in her shoes
ba..f u r julya..then u noe that col dun like you n she shows it..she will feel bad too..why not accept her n mabe she will feel grateful to you n then she will change..hmm.."

i noe this is wat i shld do and how i shld think.. but then this kind of stuff are easy to say, hard to do..... juz having this negative thoughts... which lead to many other stuff...

still having problems with my frens... mayb its my fault which cause the break in us... i dunno... i so so tired now...my life is so much full of downs..but so little ups...

colleen added colour at 12:07 AM

Tuesday, January 13, 2004
finally watched LOTR 3~~!! hmz... a very nice movie...hee..thou lottas fighting but then i enjoyed it alot... esp love the scene after the war !! its so beautiful... went to watch with farris and andi... dunno y andi keep laughing lo..haa..then me and farris there -_-"' .. hmz.. really enjoyed the movie.. hope there will be another chance to go movies with them again.. :)

but i am damm worried abt my ifb grp now lo..heard from sy that its according to reg no... and i got a super bad feeling abt this... pls tell me that it wun happen on me!! pls!!!!! argh....
colleen added colour at 11:11 PM

Thursday, January 08, 2004
hehe...been rather lazy to blog recently....anyway..sch started...didnt got a cds...but luckily got jap when i appealed...hmz...then my comm skills grp still not bad..got jeremy...shaun...charmaine...michelle...

anyway...is sy's bdae today..went to sch to attend econs lect today...after which we met up with each other...together with hm..tash.and wl...had lunch at design..chat for a while then sx came...wl went to appeal for his cds..haa...and he got wat electronic prototyping thing...sound kinda foreign to me...headed to town after which...

yea...hm and tash went to collect her pay 1st while the 4 of us went to shop ard.... got sy a adidas small handcarry bag..like it alot too myself...but she got it le.. =)... hmz...met them again after that and went to far east poa... try the pants i like the other time..72 bucks...exp... then decided not to buy liao..too exp..

in the end..we decide to eat at the pasta cafe at taka... we giving sy and hm treat coz their bdae..oh ya..and kh joined us too..had fettucinne with slipper lobster myself while they both order a baked potato and a pasta each...haha..zhen hui chi ah... well..my pasta was great...nice and yummy...and the ambience there is rather good...hope there will be a chance to go back again...the 4 girls had desserts too...me and tash shared a fruit delight... then the ice cream is rum raisin flavour lo..got alittle alochol smell then my thoart feels funny..but alright..not bad..haha....then the bill came...and each of us paid $30 lo...haha..kinda exp...but well...we enjoyed the food and so did they ..so it doesn't really matter la..my bdae will come too..hehe...

hmz...left $15 so we decide to go buy some alcohol then sit down drink and talk...then on the way right..when wl and guys went to the loo...he forgot his hp lo..but luckily it was picked by a kind man..then he got it back..so heng..haha..and sx and sy was saying y dun they hav such luck...

went to the rooftop of paragon...hmz...the view was very nice lo..with the full moon..haha..and then me tash hm sy and wl we play the zhong ji mi ma..those hu lose muz drink... heng i didnt drank much..wl still saying wan to squash me..haha...heng ah..coz dun feel like drinking...esp after that experience..hm drank quite alot lo... then red red one..haha...hmz..then after finishing we played truth or dare... awhile only...but heng oso never tio me..hahahha..

act wanted to conitue back at amk...but then in the end ken and sy and kh wanna go home so go home lo...we wait damm long for cab too lo...liek abt 35 mins??hmz..wl and sx same cab as us..then the both of us get down first...

on a whole...had enjoyed myself today.... wishing shuyi a happy 18th birthday.!!...smile lots girlz!!and od coz not forgetting huimin!! in few more mins!! happy 18th birthday !! stay funky!!
colleen added colour at 12:00 AM