`LeeNz` LiFe

2004-03-15T18:29:00.000+08:00

"I'm quite tired of trying to be accomodating... tired of empty excuses and promises and feeling unimportant." (quoted from leigh's blog) ...thats exactly how i feel...pherhaps more than it... its nobody faults...just blame it on my luck.. i cant help feeling so lonely and lost most of the time too... really dreading sch..life and everything....

2004-01-28T23:58:00.000+08:00

hasnt been updating for quite a few days.... coz i dunno wat to write and y am i writing... suddenly feel that it seem pointless writing a blog.... perhaps i might stop soon...

anyway didnt really enjoys my days...my work on tue and wed turned out to be rather dissapointing... and somehow i found myself sinking and sinking deeper into the feeling i try to hide...

schoolwork are piling up too...but i am still... slacking and slacking away.... school sux... life sux.... i try to be positive... but the negatives pull me down....

suddenly tot of the past too... thou there werent many unforgetable memories... i really miss them.. but none of us are making the move... perhaps its my fault again... but i feel so tired and scare... i still cant break the barrier of my heart.... its not that i dun care....

2004-01-25T23:43:00.000+08:00

Your wings are BROKEN and tattered. You are
an angelic spirit who has fallen from grace for
one reason or another - possibly, you made one
tragic mistake that cost you everything. Or
maybe you were blamed for a crime you didn't
commit. In any case, you are faithless and
joyless. You find no happiness, love, or
acceptance in your love or in yourself. Most
days are a burden and you wonder when the
hurting will end. Sweet, beautiful and
sorrowful, you paint a tragic and touching
picture. You are the one that few understand.
Those that do know you are likely to love you
deeply and wish that they could do something to
ease your pain. You are constantly living in
memories of better times and a better world.
You are hard on yourself and self-critical or
self-loathing. Feeling rejected and unloved,
you are sensitive, caring, deep, and despite
your tainted nature, your soul is
breathtakingly beautiful.

*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

*its rather true sadly :( *

2004-01-22T17:33:00.000+08:00

its new year today... but sadly i dun feel any cny mood and am now rotting at home...beginning to really believe that this gonna be a bad yr?? dunno y i keep having this kind of negative thoughts recently... so much things has happen too..forget it shall not tok abt it.. wats the point...

didnt had my reunion dinner this yr too.. but well..it juz another dinner... was working ... reaches sakura at 2 then slack awhile coz i was early then felicia came... suppose to start work at 3 but then at ard 230 we start doin the cutlery... at first was wondering y we came so early coz we open at 530... but towards the end... time was rushing out ... had to prepare yu sheng for all those tables..haa..kinda fun... but i only help put the packets of powder beside it.. hee.. then a while later changed and start to get ready to open up.. the que is already very long ... hoho... then i was hosting.. hmz.. busybusy.. then johnny asked me to take a basket and fill it with oranges then gave to every table... haha.. kinda fun... but the basket is damm heavy lo.. even heavier than all those plates we usually clear... imagine walking ard the whole restaurant and havin to refill and go again... my poor hand..

then at ard 7pm, all the guests start to leave and we had to prepare for the next session that starts at 8pm... we had to clear, set, wipe cutlery and prepare yu sheng all in abt 30 mins... rush here rush there..i think this is the first time that we did so much thing in such a short while and everyone was sweating and pespring.. but the sense of achievement was great after we finish.. this time , the queue was even longer!!! there was so much pple and the place was so squeezy.. hmz.. then when almost all the guest had settle down, i started my oranges girl duties again... haha.. and then johnny asked me to give to his fren hu was dining there.. and he gave me a ang bao... haha.. my first one .. feel happy not becoz of the ang bao becoz of johnny actions.. haha.. anyway... my arms hurt more lo... but still gotta carry those heavy plates... so many manz.. cant seem to finish clearing... and with each round, i carry lesser and lesser plates, coz my hand really cmi liao...hmz... think i shall not elaborate anymore...

thou i spent my new year eve working this yr, i think i enjoyed it much more than the usual... =)

2004-01-15T23:43:00.000+08:00

actually wrote sth yest but some how accidentally deleted it... but oh well.. its nth positive so its better that its not post up.... somehow wasnt in a rather good mood yest night... thinking abt lottas stuff that has always been in my heart and not cleared or spoken abt... it's still there... but i guess i will try to stop thinking abt it...

mood was slightly better today.. but as usual i am not concentratin in sch again.. listening.. but my mind always drift away.. how am i goin to pass my sem like this...finishes at 11 today so headed down to sakura after having lunch...

act suppose to work at night only but since i was there early johnny asked me to train my cashering... and somehow being there cheer me up better... esp when i talk to farris.. he really make me very comfortable when i tok to him thou we keep suaning each other and stuff.. but he's gonna go to ns soon... thats so sad... will surely miss him... 3 collegues resigned today.. 2 goin to ns and 1 goin to sch... gonna miss those times working with them... went to the john little sale at expo too during the split with felicia... sitting on her bike is kinda cool...hee..but kinda dangerous too... still not use to it....

hmz..all in all..i enjoyed my work today... esp during the last part... i feel so at ease.... which set me thinking... am i really cut out for studying? but well... its better to hav a diploma at least.... my heart still feel heavy despite all....

2004-01-15T00:07:00.000+08:00

tdae was a really bad day for me... i cant seems to be able to fit into anywhere.... but then again...this is when i shld learn to have that independance i am lackin...

haiz.. and ya right.. my bad feeling was right.. i am in the same grp as her... had she change for the better? this i dunno... all i noe is that i am a person hu cant hide my feelings and somehow it will be very obvious when i dun like a particular person.. i noe this is very bad...
but thats how i am...and i dun think i can force myself to change that.. y am i juz so lucky...
that awkardness is there... mayb as wat sy had said, "hmm..then put urself in her shoes
ba..f u r julya..then u noe that col dun like you n she shows it..she will feel bad too..why not accept her n mabe she will feel grateful to you n then she will change..hmm.."

i noe this is wat i shld do and how i shld think.. but then this kind of stuff are easy to say, hard to do..... juz having this negative thoughts... which lead to many other stuff...

still having problems with my frens... mayb its my fault which cause the break in us... i dunno... i so so tired now...my life is so much full of downs..but so little ups...

2004-01-13T23:11:00.000+08:00

finally watched LOTR 3~~!! hmz... a very nice movie...hee..thou lottas fighting but then i enjoyed it alot... esp love the scene after the war !! its so beautiful... went to watch with farris and andi... dunno y andi keep laughing lo..haa..then me and farris there -_-"' .. hmz.. really enjoyed the movie.. hope there will be another chance to go movies with them again.. :)

but i am damm worried abt my ifb grp now lo..heard from sy that its according to reg no... and i got a super bad feeling abt this... pls tell me that it wun happen on me!! pls!!!!! argh....

2004-01-08T00:00:00.000+08:00

hehe...been rather lazy to blog recently....anyway..sch started...didnt got a cds...but luckily got jap when i appealed...hmz...then my comm skills grp still not bad..got jeremy...shaun...charmaine...michelle...

anyway...is sy's bdae today..went to sch to attend econs lect today...after which we met up with each other...together with hm..tash.and wl...had lunch at design..chat for a while then sx came...wl went to appeal for his cds..haa...and he got wat electronic prototyping thing...sound kinda foreign to me...headed to town after which...

yea...hm and tash went to collect her pay 1st while the 4 of us went to shop ard.... got sy a adidas small handcarry bag..like it alot too myself...but she got it le.. =)... hmz...met them again after that and went to far east poa... try the pants i like the other time..72 bucks...exp... then decided not to buy liao..too exp..

in the end..we decide to eat at the pasta cafe at taka... we giving sy and hm treat coz their bdae..oh ya..and kh joined us too..had fettucinne with slipper lobster myself while they both order a baked potato and a pasta each...haha..zhen hui chi ah... well..my pasta was great...nice and yummy...and the ambience there is rather good...hope there will be a chance to go back again...the 4 girls had desserts too...me and tash shared a fruit delight... then the ice cream is rum raisin flavour lo..got alittle alochol smell then my thoart feels funny..but alright..not bad..haha....then the bill came...and each of us paid $30 lo...haha..kinda exp...but well...we enjoyed the food and so did they ..so it doesn't really matter la..my bdae will come too..hehe...

hmz...left $15 so we decide to go buy some alcohol then sit down drink and talk...then on the way right..when wl and guys went to the loo...he forgot his hp lo..but luckily it was picked by a kind man..then he got it back..so heng..haha..and sx and sy was saying y dun they hav such luck...

went to the rooftop of paragon...hmz...the view was very nice lo..with the full moon..haha..and then me tash hm sy and wl we play the zhong ji mi ma..those hu lose muz drink... heng i didnt drank much..wl still saying wan to squash me..haha...heng ah..coz dun feel like drinking...esp after that experience..hm drank quite alot lo... then red red one..haha...hmz..then after finishing we played truth or dare... awhile only...but heng oso never tio me..hahahha..

act wanted to conitue back at amk...but then in the end ken and sy and kh wanna go home so go home lo...we wait damm long for cab too lo...liek abt 35 mins??hmz..wl and sx same cab as us..then the both of us get down first...

on a whole...had enjoyed myself today.... wishing shuyi a happy 18th birthday.!!...smile lots girlz!!and od coz not forgetting huimin!! in few more mins!! happy 18th birthday !! stay funky!!

2004-01-03T19:35:00.000+08:00

hasn't been blogging recently coz i am feeling so damm sick and bed ridden lo..went to work as usual on new year eve then took a cab down to esplanade to meet the np people.. kinda lost there coz was unable to get them as the network was busy..

anyway the fireworks were damm nice and i am sure gald i seen them...it make me feel so vibrant...went over to daniel's house after that to thon and i guess thats when my tragedy started...played panda and i drank like half bottle of hooch and half bottle of venom..never slp properly on the sofa coz i can never make it without a pillow...woke up with a bloody headache and neckache..

try to went straight to bed after i reach home but feel like puking so i went to the loo...and my parents were arguing..wth... screaming like nobody business... i juz ignore them ..anyway was afraid my mom found out i drank so i kept avoiding them...called my manager and told him i couldnt make it for work..felt really bad coz he had already gave me the day off as i requested and yet i cant work at night... but the situation didnt got any better... after every drink that i took... even if it juz plain water...i would vomit it out after a few seconds...and i think i have vomitted like over 20 times in that day alone...this has got to be the most times i vomitted since i was born... try to go back to slp thinkin it will be over by tml... but when my mom came home..and i ask my sis to get me a drink..i vomit it out agian...in front of her...and she decided to take me to the clinic..it was already 1150 in the night lo..and i was the last patient of the clinlic..

the doc said i was down with stomach flu which cause my constant vomitting and my high fever of 39 degs..i was given an injection too coz even if i were to take mecidince i wld oso puke it out... never felt so terrible in my life... puke somemore on my way home coz i got a drink then at night puke after i drank my medicine...next day call my manager again and told him i cant make it agian...i really feel super bad lo...

second day was better ..less puking..but lottas shitting..all diarheo..for this whole 2 days i only ate a bowl of instant hor fun... this has got to be the least i eaten since i was a grown up too..

decided to go to work on the 3rd day..went to bought a packet of chicken porridge but ate a bit then no appetite le...took cab to work..but no energy at all..so felicia ask me to go hoem rest for the night till i got better...hopefully can work by sun...went out for lunch too..but ate abit too and had no more appetite..

i am really hungry ...but nth seems to whet my appetite...feeling terrible..

is this a hint that this year will be a bad year for me?? since all started on the 1st day of the year?? i certainly hope not!!!

2003-12-31T00:16:00.000+08:00

had a grrrr88888 day tdae manz!! haha...had ig meeting in the morning...oh my..really tons to do and plan lo..hmz..then soo ling had a tok with each of us... pretty ok...kinda looking forward to those event that are coming up..but we gonna hav a real busy time lo!! haha..

oh..and the timetable's out!! haha..currently i only noe i same class with jeremy,saed,julya, shaun,edelina,xinhui..hmz..kinda lookin forward too!! hahaha =) but no cds lei..have to go apeeal..shucks...

anyway...planned with my collegues to meet after her work to go cash out our pay then go shopping..but then turn out the bank close at 3 lo..shit... shld hav went down early then faster go cash out my cheque lo..but then had a great lunch with ig pple..coz for the first time..dawn's eating with us!! haha..and got to sit in sooling's car...damm cool lo...merz!! omg..

anyway as i was saying the bank close at 3 and we were kind of stranded coz no money how to shop...so dissapointin..then farris offered to lend me his money first coz he cash out le... he so sweet..omg..didnt wanted to take at first but he was quite persisiten...and he gave me $200 lo! altho..i'd have spend more with my pay..but without his offer i cant even shop lo..so touched by his actions..=) hmz..so i split the money with yvonne...each $100..

went to ps..coz wanted to cut my hair..at those booth..each of us bought 4 pairs of earrings lo..hahaha...but not bad..like them...$13but then kimage say appointment all full..wa..sianz..really feel like cutting lo...so bo bian went gio and bout a top..for $9.80..haa.. then went shopping ard... came to nèss...saw this nice purple jeans..hoho..love it..$44.80 only after discount..haha... =)then headed down to orchard after that...try some clothes at topshop and ms selfrige and mango..theres this blus topshop skirt which i like lo..but so exp..$63... *faints*..but didnt get anything thou..then went to taka zara..oso nth..then went to zara wheelock and i bought a skirt for only $26.90!! haha..simple design..but not bad too...hee...

well..really enjoy myself lo.. had few good buys..less than $100 can buy ..+)quite pleased with myself...hahahaha..looking forward to more shopping!!

oh and really hope that i can meet up with np pple after work tml... miss them all!! will they miss me thou..haha..well..nitez peeps!!

2003-12-29T00:25:00.000+08:00

hadn't been blogging for very long..coz was always very tired when i reach home after work for the past few days.. very very busy..but i did enjoy myself thou.. those chit chatting that we have after work..haha...had some drinks too..hmz..but i didnt drank much....coz dun really noe how to drink... tasted red wine the other time when it was borhan's last day at sakura tamp...den on xmas eve..drank champange..haha..drank more of it coz not so nan he...hmz..den on xmas tasted brandy ir sth liddat..40% alocohol..haha..try abit only..thou most of the time i am the really girl left... i still felt very comfortable...

anyway..life still abt the same for me... juz that some things have changed and i guess it quite hard to undo it... well well..ok..dun feel like blogging anymore le...do hope that my timetable will not be chaotic thou...kinda scared...

2003-12-22T23:28:00.000+08:00

enjoy my dinner today!! hehe..was supposed to meet karin and all at 6 today.. but gotta do some shopping b4 that so i went early .. met jason on the bus... haha.. he was laming thru out lo..but at least got some company..haa...he meeting leigh at far east..the 2 of them went for foot reflexlogoy while i went to do my shopping..after that went to find the both of them..haha..heard that jason scream badly..hoho..but leigh seems to be enjoying.. kinda wanted to do..but nah..broke..hehe

hmz...headed to taka to meet them at seoul garden...karin 2 frens were there too..they are twins..a guy and a girl..so cute..hee..they were very friendly too...anyway..we did gift xchanging b4 eating.. the feelin is really very wen xin.. i am damm full lo..haha...had..much ice cream too..yum yum..and leigh choc...simply indulging!!

i love my present too!! so happy when i noe what was it..it was the bag i was eyeing and they got it for me!! hehe.. thanz alot guys!! love ya !! after a much fulfilling dinner we went for a short stroll at taka..then headed out..

leigh and jason went off first while the rest of us continue walking..haha..we walk to the orchard mrt .. haha..some volunteers ask us to donate..and we were given balloons!!! hehe..act got 4 lo.. i gave one to liz and 1 flew off..hoho.. liz and daniel went off and then the 4 of us decided to walk to dhoby ghaut..haha..to accp brian... =) lugging the 2 balloons with me..hehe.. but then find it quite troublesome coz kip banging into them..so i decide to give them to 2 kids!! hehe.. very happy i did that..coz i feel great after that..making them happy!! =)

parted with brian at the mrt and the 3 of us went off... had a very happy day!! thanz guy!! thanz for this unforgettable christmas celebrations!! and its fagan bdae too today!! HaPpY bIRthDay FaGaN!! and merry christmas to all!!

countdown to christmas: 3 days!!!!!

2003-12-20T21:42:00.000+08:00

things juz aint getting any better... the fact that i do not want to tok to u coz i feel that there isnt a need to explain to u and i am so sick and tired of this.. i'm angry at u not bcoz i think u lie to me i'm angry at u coz u break ya promises to me again and again..i am not restricting u .. i juz HATE ppLe breaking their promises esp U!!! u make me raise hopes for that day and i took off specially so that we can go out.. but yet.. u told me u cant go!!! u say i do not understand u..but do u understand me then.. i can say for sure thats not the first time u broken ya promise and cancel things the last mins.. i have already been very tolerant .. when u are busy with ya training.. u cant go out.. what if i am busy with work?!.. u said b4..y always when u free.. i not free.. but yet..when i specially made myself free so as to accomodate u.. u break ya promise.. i may be bad at words and u cant understand wat i am toking.. but sth that u say b4 makes me really angry.. u said y shld u accommodate ya frens.. if so .. y shld i accommodate u too!! it may seem harsh..and i noe i might be in the wrong.. but pls think of wat u have done too.. b4 making judgement on me too!!

i juz hate my life..nth ever seems to goes rite.. and i am forever the one who stands alone!

2003-12-19T23:24:00.000+08:00

had IG meeting today!! had to wake up at 8 lo..coz gotta reach at 10..saw rayner(sakura chef) at ubi and kelly in the bus!! haha..hmz..chatted with her...

well had a long meeting lo..got break in btn too and we went to buy lunch..hehe..hmz..many events cuming up le..kinda looking forwarD??esp the cultural nite!! haha..gonna mayb some fusion food...will be goin to kelly house on the 29th to trial run!!ooo...and thanx mummy leigh!! for the cookies and card!! delicious.. haha.finishing soon le..opps.. =P... thanx sister karin too!! for ya card!! pretty pretty..=)

headed to town after that...and when to plucked my eyebrows at far east..the person very good.. and now my brows look so much more presentable lo...hehe..all thanz to my itchy hands la..the brows become like dunno wat... hmz.. then went window shopping..mango havin sale!! saw sths nice..but no $$..sad sad... my $500 already gonez!!
.....saw yvonne(sakura) there too..haha..keep bumping into her..dun think she will see me if i nvr call her lo..the blur dinosaur!!

well..jason came meet us after that..and he tricked me lo..so stupid...and i act kanna trick..dotz.. and thanks to his accomplice.. "weizhang" ..haha..anyway..had ice cream again!! damm sinful..but heck...went over to wheelock then to wisma..saw sx on the way too.. and shiya at watson..shop again...then meet brian for our dinner..had it at bk cineleisure coz taka too many pple..dinner was ok..haha..seein soem entertainment?? opps...hehe..well basically tdae a nice day!!

tml will bne goin over to toa payoh to help out..have to reach by 10am..gosh..so early..betta go slp early too!! hehe..take care peeps!!

6 days to christmas!!!!!! hohoho....christmas...hmz...

2003-12-17T17:40:00.000+08:00

had off for the day coz i tot that i will be goin out to watch wu jian dao 3 ..but it was cancelled... this is not the first time such things happen le.. and the reason yet again is something that is rather untrue like last time.. i try not to think abt it and believe u..but everytime u dissapoint me... i feel so useless..somehow i feel that nobody ever care abt my feeling... y am i always taken for granted..i hate this feeling... u said we had drift apart... but look at all those things that u have done.. it may be small and insignificant to u.. but this are all the little things that causes the break in our friendship..but like i said..no one care abt my feelings.. it always my fault...

I'll make sure i 'll never take off because of u again!!

2003-12-15T23:57:00.000+08:00

met karin tdae for kickboxing...b4 that went for lunch and had a hot fudge sundae..not bad..quite good...leigh went to work and hence me and karin went of to search for a tiara for jas..but it was too exp so we headed to cineleisure for kickboxing!! impact shop got 50% off...kinda tempted..but no figure to wear bikinis...

well...kickboxing was great tdae..ray's really good...at least i manage to catch the moves today and felt much energized after the workout... =) think i will try to make it for ray's class next time.. went to taka to find brian ..but b4 that...we went to the basement and bought tori Q.. had one.. then i had Gelato ice cream..belgium choclate flavour...good but not as good as Gelare chocolate overload!! miss it..so sinful ..2 ice cream in a day... saw huimin at DKNY too.. she seems to be enjoying..thats good..and oh..she cutted her hair..haa..different look! brian was at his place too..chatted with him for a while and headed down to HMV..saw jeremy outside taka..was kinda shocked coz he look like so pissed off..thot wat happened.. found out that he lost his dog today..

saw kelly and derek and hereen..such a concidence.. they goin to yuki yaki to visit later and we will be goin to cine pasta mania to eat..saw them at yuki yaki again and we chatted with auntie puay keng.. kinda miss the old days...but things have changed...tried bikinis too... dun think its for me too..mayb if i do slim down..(perhaps like 20 years later)???

dinner was good..brian came to meet us too..had pasta mania and we had banna chocolate pizza for dessert...delicious.. hmz..went to hmv again after that and listen to christmas songs.. really looking forward to christmas..but somehow got this bad feelin abt it..the nearer it is..the worrier i get...abt wat ..i dunno...

2003-12-14T01:24:00.000+08:00

hmz...had a great day at work tday!! (er yest)... went to work at 1030 tdae coz there will be a wedding reception so we have to be earlier...like the other time there were balloons and we placed it under the lights..the effects were great..so romantic.. =)

chat with yvonne(not yvonne looi) while we were wiping the cutleries and heard what joanna say..haiz..dun really wanna be bothered by her and tml her last day..yvonne wanted to quit too bcoz of studies luckily she might not anymore coz shes really fun and blur...haha....she really look like dinosaur too..hahah...as usual i was put at hosting...but kinda luan coz of the wedding thing..the table no. changed... den after a while i was told to help serve wine to the guest.. hee..so cool... learnt how to pour the red wine (not pro kind) haha..but very fun....then walk ard ask pple whether they want not..took beer too...very heavy lo..hand ache..but quite slack haha...so basically for lunch i juz slack ard??

after lunch went to view bikes with my collegues..as in real motorbikes..hmz..dun really noe how to appreciate thou..hehe.. but kinda like the PHANTOM..nice and cool.. was "playing with yvonne on the way too..hmz..still dun understand y she say i look like pancake?? then when we reach safra we went to play CS....haha..tdae was fun..coz i keep killin..hoho..altho this is a very ancient game le..but we keep playing coz me and felicia the other time juz anyhow play then was kinda fun..haha..anyhow anyhow shoot...

roger came down..and had some small small toks with him..very long never le..hmz..really miss him..hes really a good manager...=)dinner was not really busy... did hosting... hand kinda aching from all the clearing of plates... hmz...after work we ate supper haa..then they bring out wine and beer...oh ya..tried drinking soup with straw...so much easier and tastier ...hahahaha... the girls all went le..but borhan(my supervisor) say will send me home later coz he tdae got drive... so i stayed behind and chat with them..hmz..act i was listening to them tok and kanna suan by them.... had some red wine too..hmz..not that nice la... kinda bitter... was very happy chatting.. well got one of them kinda tok big la..haha..so me and elvis and farris was there thinking whether wat he say was true or not...the feelings great..first time having such "talks" with them.. and realise that elvis is act a really nice guy but juz too rough..

saw my schedule will be helping out at toa payoh on sat..dunno whether will open then not..hmz.. kinda look forward...but hope to stay at tampines thou... =)

2003-12-12T23:28:00.000+08:00

had ig peer appraisal tdae..hmz.. kind of hard to do... went to town with karin and leigh but leigh was goin to work so i had lunch with karin at HANs and went to visit leigh.ooo..haha..btw i joined the family now..hmz..leigh my mummy and karin is my sis!!hmz.. feel good with them.. =).. well me and karin went to gelare to get ice cream too!! its so nice!! wow...so indulging...ate toriQ too..then drank a cup of sugarcane..we sure ate alot tdae...but i love the ice cream part the best..chocolate!!~~simply loves chocolate..speaking of which..my choc truffles was a failure.. hope to try it again soon..and carry out my plan..;) and

hope that my xmas will be a great one coz i am really looking forward to it..dunno y...its a feeling i have not felt for the past xmas?? but kinda worry too..it juz so confusing..

well..work was pretty much the same..toa payoh outlet opening soon..wonder if those chef i noe better will go there not..hope not...they 're fun to tok to.. =)...i start off as the host again..hmz..kinda bored liao..everytime oso host..dunno when then they put me other sections... tml there will be a wedding reception...hmz.. gotta wake up early.. -_-..

2003-12-11T00:44:00.000+08:00

Your soul is bound to the Solitary Rose: The
Alone.

"When I wake up alone, the shades are still
drawn on the cold window pane so they cast
their lines on my bed and lines on my
face."

The Solitary Rose is associated with loneliness,
melancholy, and patience. It is governed by
the goddess Merope and its sign is The Sword,
or Unrequited Love.

As a Solitary Rose, you may be summed up as a
hopeless romantic. You desire love and have so
much love to give, but thing just never seem to
work out the way you want them to. In life,
you can be very optomistic, even when things
are gray and nothing works out to your
expectations.

What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
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2003-12-09T23:44:00.000+08:00

hmz...met evon and qr for lunch tday... but qr was late..coz she overslpt...anyway we went to breeks for our lunch..order lottas of food including breaded prawns,calamari rings, mashed potato(to share) and the korean seaweed myon for myself...ate too much lite bites and hence was qutie full when my noodle arrived..ate abit only and my stomach got no more space le..so my noodle still left one big bowl..hmz..better not eat since i full le then to grouched myself to finish...

anyway..after that wanna go ikea ,qr cant go but she acc me to the busstop..b4 tt we went to popular and i bought quite alot of stuff..haiz..goin broke... hmz..then wl say wanna go too..but i was already at the bus stop so he will be meetin me at ikea instead... realised that act shopping along feels great too...no restriction and u dun have to worry abt others waiting for u while u shop...and no awkard feelings when theres nth to talk abt...of coz i would love a companion when i am out..but goin shop alone once in a while is great...+)

ikea is really huge ...took wl quite some time for him to find me..haha..act is i go find him la..but anyway..after choosing some more things..we went to pay...rather dissappointing coz one of the things which i want was not available anymore... (there goes one of my plan)... =(

went to bk coz wl haven eat b4 we move to queensway shopping centre...juz walking and looking ard...he bought a jeans and a tshirt thou..then was rushing to find singapore pools coz he wanna make bets for tonight soccer..hmz..well didnt really tok much on the way thou..but at least got someone acc me on the way home...haha...

went home and try out my "plan" for xmas...kind of fail lei...dunno shld use this plan le not..haiz.. told ya b4..wat i can potray will happen wun happen..haiz..better think of other ideas soon..or wat i bought will go to watse~~!! think i need to go down to ikea again..and i promise hm that i will go with her for xmas shopping.. only went earlier today coz need to give out by 19...hehe..hmz..wonder when she off...for my second round... merry christmas !!!! ^o^

2003-12-09T00:27:00.000+08:00

met sy in the afternoon...act wanted to go play badminton but in the end the CC was under renovation...argz...oh ya..bump into wl on the way there...he was on his way to work..live so near the cc yet never tell us under renovation...haa..

so in the end we went to J8..bought tickets for ELF then we went for a sushi buffet...so full lo..and even trying ways to dispose of some food we cant finish..haha...hmz..

ELF was really nice...love the part esp when the girl stood on the carriage and starts singing christmas song.. had a sudden urge to cry..hehe..very touching and heartwarming..feel like singing along..but paiseh..haaa..(in my head was thinking...it will be so nice if the whole cinema sings along)...but never happen... somehow..i am kinda lookin forward to this year christmas..hope it will be a nice one!! ^o^

there will also be marathon for wu jian dao..feel like watching ...has been wanting the watch the previous 2 but got no chance... hmmz..but then the marathon is thru the night...dun think my mom allow and also dunno hu can acc me go see...really hope that i will be able to watch thou..can go after work since GV tampines will be showing from 11:30pm..juz nice... =|

really had much to eat tdae manx..even went to pasta mania after the show..damm full.. then went to NTUC to buy ingredients to make truffles...hope it will be successful and then i can carry on with my plan~!! but still short of almonds..will get it tml...and also feel like goin to ikea soon... kinda like that place... *_*

2003-12-08T23:15:00.000+08:00

hmz...juz came back from breakfast with daniel just now..thou being dig up so early but got to sit in his own car..kinda cool... went to eat noodles near his old house...quite delicious...on the way was listening to his experiences..very impressive... really admire him for motivation and determination..so young yet already starting own business... but huh..dun spent so much ah..muz learn to save for rainy days le... =) good lucks to you too..(thou dun think u will read this) but anyway best wishes!

2003-12-07T17:01:00.000+08:00

meet up with karin this "yest" afternoon to do some more shopping for her prom..went to spotlight to walk walk for a while b4 she came..hmz...really feel like starting on my christmas gifts soon! already had plans on wat to give and wat to do...hope it will be a succesS~~!!! whenever i can visualise the outcome it never come true...but i really hope that my plan will be a success this time!! pls let it be!!

anyway...we had our lunch at pasta mania and i ate a prawn and shrooms pasta...it was nice.. will get it again on my next visit ..haha...hmmmm....after eating we continued with our shopping and karin finally got the bracelet for her prom..hehe...nice nice...didn't bought anything myself but i better save....heee...actually intended to go get bronzing powder with her...but gotta leave for work le..so sorry...will make it up to u again k!! hmz...and this is the 2nd time that when i was about to leave then u meet ur fren..such a conicindence??..hee...oh ya..so sorry i might not be able to make it for kickboxing on tue le..coz my collegues want to go out..and one of them is a full-timer ..his off is on tue..so got no choice..so sorry..we shall go asap k!! so looking forward!^o^

had quite a good time at work today...kaihoe called juz now and ask him to help him tape the tml stars award...need a favour then call me!! haa..so long never contact him le..manage to chat abit juz now.. still own me my present thou!! but quite glad to hear from him...

so tired...oh ya!! went to friendster juz now..and found lottas pri sch frens!! haha..so long never see them le...kinda miss them..hope they're doin fine...=) goin to slp soon...will be working split tml!!

2003-12-06T15:42:00.000+08:00

i finally signed up at AMORE fitness club!! hehe...went to signed up for the membership at cineleisure with karin today..hee...hmz...and then register for my first class of kickboxing!! so exciting.. =p anyway it was still quite early so we both went to shop shop first...went to giordano and bought a track pants there...then try to look for accessories for karin's prom..but didnt to find any (found one thot ..but too exp)... hmz..anyway.. at about 12 plus we were both hungry and thus head back to cineleisure for yoshinoya..

it has been a long time since i taken yoshinoya and we really had a very full and delicious lunch! =) after eating we chatted for a while and leigh came to join us...we will be goin for kickboxing together later!.. went to impact shop b4 that...bought nth there..but karin did bought sth ..;p hee... hmz...kickboxing lessons!! here i come...

it was really very new and interesting to me...but cant catch wat the instructor was doin for some part.. and my momentum was kind of out...first time.. but according to the both of them this instructor wasnt as good as the previous one that attended...hope i will get a chance to attend his lessons soon!! so looking forward to the next lesson! to all those who might read this... if ya wanna join amore too..come find me k! i got $10 voucher..haha...its really fun... ^o^

anyway after the session we went shopping again...saw wl at taka..he came from behind and call me...quite surprised to see him esp him comin up to talk since he was in yoshinoya when he saw me..haven seen him for a while le.. glad that he called out to me..hope that we will have a gathering again soon =)...and where the NP gathering u promised!!! ..wasnt able to find the pants i wanted to buy at U:women....kinda dissappointed but its ok...hmz...bump into ann at topshop and exchange a few words but was kinda awkard coz we dun really tok in sch.. she has grown much prettier... bought 3 underwear there..haa..colourful one..wonder what would my mum say when she see them??

fagan came to join us not long after and we head to wheelock to buy karin prom pants.. after that we head to MNG and i bought a top there...kind of like it in orange but i guess the blue one suits me better...hope i will wear it though..haha...wanted to trim my eyebrow act but the person say it was over plucked previously so i had to wait for another 2 weeks for it to grow out b4 i go back to find her...she is quite friendly...

went to citylink after that...but leigh went home first...fagan's friend jason meets us there and we went to look for karin accessories b4 we went for dinner at subway together...very full again..haha..kickboxing like gone down the drain le..but nvm..slowly i shall learn to be more determined!! will be meeting karin tml at tampines for some shppping again b4 work tml... ^o^

2003-12-04T01:13:00.000+08:00

hmz...had quite fruitful days since i last blog... damm tired now...i shall start with wat happen tdae then... tdae sakura had an outside cathering thing and i was one of those selected to go help... the cathering is held at the SGX (s'pore xchange) building next to lau pa sat.. first time doin such thing....kinda excited... anyway we had to carry lottas of stuff there and this is not like those normal buffet which use paper plates and cups etc.. we actually had to bring all those plates made of ceramic and glasses there! it was all so heavy..and we have to bring alot.. haha..but luckily the guys carry all those and we 3 girls only help here and there... they quite ke lian sweat alot manz...carry so much heavy stuff..then we reach there and had to set up those counters..with those nice nice cloths and everything have to be neat and nice...

finally everything was set up and we went to change...after changing ...not long after those pple come out from the "talk"(wats that word? suddenly forgot) anyway.. then we had to start serving them drinks..those glasses really very heavy..take a few only cannot tahan le..somemore gotta walk here walk there..but luckily me after a while my manager ask me stand at the clearing point and help out...haa..relaxing... the thing last a while only so we started to pack all those unused utensils and plates..bring so much..act only use less than half lo..haa... hmz...then saw some really disgusting pple...still wanna "ta pau" somemore ask us for plastic bags...dun hav then put inside their paper bag they got from the "talk" so eee... typical kiasu ...felt so ashamed of them somehow.. anyway..we got to eat the food there..haha..quite nice....when we were clearing up me and my other collegue (liping) keep on picking the strawberries to eat...delicious!! tired tired..

somemore!!! this is the first time that i waited so long for a cab and no cab wanna stop( there were lottas empty cab on the road!!) me and my collegues walk round and round the area for more than 45 mins and no cab wanna stop!! really gek!! somemore call 3 cab company want to on call all 3 busy!haiz... i somemore call wz who was in china haha...to ask him for TIBS no. ...hee..oops.. finally one uncle save our lives man...finally stop for us and heng he wanted to go pasir ris.. if not got other waiting oso...

a very fun but tired day hehe...wund't mind goin for this kind of things again!! ^o^

ok now... that sun we decorated the restaurant..hmz...christmas cumin...kinda happy..wonder if my christmas gift plan will succeed arnot..anyway..gotta spent xmas working ...but nvm..its liddat in the F&B line...*jingle bell...jingle bell...jingle all the way.........** haha...

then went bugis with yvonne on mon... nver bought much..but looking forward to another shopping trip which i dun think will be successful now... really hope to join amore lei...hope i can make that first step!!

oh ya!! and i really spent alot on taxis fares recently ...gonna go broke man...haiz

okok thats for now..really damm tired...hair not dry but dun care le....bed....here i come!!!!!!!!!! tml still working morning...**yawnz**

2003-11-29T01:14:00.000+08:00

finally wrote my blog..haa...even though i am home for like so long already.. hmz.. anyway... was late today when i am supposed to meet leigh and dawn to the the stuff to prepare the food.. hehe...overslept for more than 1 hour..how bad can that get?! haa...so sorry leigh and dawn and jason too.. (hu was there to "help")...

went to leigh house to prepare the food..it was fun and its my first time making mashed potatoes too... (hmm...my fav) ..with the help of leigh and dawn of coz! hoho.. the outing was fun with game and all... thou it rain but it was very cooling and cosy under the shelter ... it was a memorable time.. ^o^

after the outing..went to town to meet brian with leigh, fagan, karin & jas.. was juz hanging ard while waitin for brian to knock off.. oh ya and karin signed up for the amore course.. kinda interested..wonder if i can get the time off ..and of coz determination !! have really gotten into the shopping mood now..thou never really saw anything i fancy yet.. but i am so looking forward to shopping!! haven done that for so long...went to kfc to eat sth.. didnt ate much coz was quite full after which we juz sit down and chat.. a nice chat we had... hope to have more of such chats!! the feeling is great.. =)

okie..that should be alll after so long of not blogin..hee..kinda the same on working day.. gotta go to bed soon...

2003-11-19T00:42:00.000+08:00

haiz...wat a suay day today!!! today suppose to help out with the sec sch workdshop thing so meet shahdiah 730 at bus top...then on the way down to the auditorium tok tok tok..then never look fell down the stairs.! this is the first time i felt so much pain when i fell down lo... cant even stand up... then after that tot mayb pain awhile coz still can walk walk...

the workshop held by tan hsien wei (hospitality lect) quite interesting...its abt social and dining etiqutte..he quite funny + lame..so luckily not so boring and learn some new things too like how to shake hands etc....

after the whole workshop thingy went to toa payoh coz qr say wanna eat crystal jade.. i reached earlier so went to popular to see see look look then saw receipes on how to make chocolates.. look interesting so decided to go to the library to check out more.. on the way there shun bian see where the new sakura outlet will be.. abit ma fan to go to the restaurant still must take lift...hope will do well thou...anyway..went to the library and copied some receipes..hoep i will go make and hope can be successful!!

hmz..act crystal jade not bad lo..but alot of pork stuff.. dun relaly liek the smell..experience lo.. dun really think i will go again... mayb at least not eat the same things... but really miss yuki yaki feel very much like goin there to eat but cant find anyone to go...haiz... really miss there lo ...hope faster got chance to go back there to eat ....

after eating went to watch hidden track with evon... at lido..the cinema setting abit funny then there got the hanging person found in wishing stairs..scared us both lo... act the show not very nice lo...but the songs are very nice..anyway...dun regret watching coz got zhou jie lun!! haha... jay rox ~!! :p...after movie go shop shop awhile then saw dawn , toreen and 2 other gals at wisma... evon got 2 tank tops but i never...actually go cold storage wanna buy ingredients to make the choc..but not enuf money juz now so never...walk pass wl and jy work place..say hello to them then tok abit then went home le...lazy to walk so we took cab...haiz..i really lazy nowadays...

after walkin so much leg very pain reach home ask bro can do wat coz he always sprain last time ...then he say put ices over them and dun walk too much..but after puttin hor..i walk abit also super duper pain lo..can even stand properly...haiz..then call back sakura ..wanna tell johnny but he not ard so ask felicia to pass msg..haiz..like very irresponsible liddat..dun liek this kind of feeling..hope will faster ok i wanna go back work faster..then somemore still workin for the rest of the week ..now dunno how..feel very bad... but cannot walk oso bo bian..that time sick at least still can work..

haiz..the most saddening thing is..when i tell my mom i sprained my leg then she only say i careless all those shit...never even show any concern..not even asking to bring me go see sinseh...haiz..then ask me go take the wat lotion and apply..cant even walk still wan me go take myself..kns... then tell her tml i go see sinseh then she say ask dad help me massage can le...damm pissed off..she better give me money to see tml lo.. haiz..some kind of mom... cant stand it...

at least still got hm and liren say accp me go see sinseh..at least feel better...but haiz!!! so suay these few days!!!!!!! haven sick finish sprain!!!! argh!!!

2003-11-17T00:09:00.000+08:00

there was a wedding reception at sakura today so we have to reach early...felt so cold in the morning lo.. was juz telling yvonne that i dun have flu onli sore throat yest then tdae get liao so suay.... at work wanna squeeze then the squeeze dun wanna come out...then like wan to cry wan to cry liddat (bcoz of the squeeze ah!! not wat) hmz..but still enjoy working ...hopefully i will get better tml coz got work then like very xin ku with the nose...

went home that time saw a soo kee paper bag on my table...open up and saw a small small diamond pendant on a platinium necklance and one pearl necklance...hmz very touched...its my belated bdae pressie from my godmom...alto pass very long le but its the tot that counts right...
anyway..very happy.... =)

saw that alot took this test so decided to try...hmz...it is like me?? u decide ba.. ^o^ taKe cAre!!

	Friend Bear You are everyone's ideal friend because you are sincere and genuinely kind. Sometimes you worry about your friends' problems so much, you forget about your own responsibilities, which can get you into trouble. For you, it's the little things that really count. You also happen to be the main driver of the Cloud Car. No speeding!
*Take the Which Care Bear Are You?* Quiz!**

2003-11-16T00:40:00.000+08:00

so long never update le...hehe...so i shall tell u wat happened this few days...hmz...let see...basically nothing much happened on tue coz was working~~

wed: hmz...went to gym with qr...haa...

hmz...then thur morning got ig meeting then after went to queensway and ikea with hui min!!
my first visit to ikea..love that place manz!! so cool and really like those furnishings....saw some star wands there...both of us like it..hee..but no money so we made a promise to go back again before christmas to get it!! hehe...

fri.~ worked in the morning...then had our FD at amk breeks~~ yea....hope this FD will last and be held weekly...after our dinner,sy collegue, junhao came and we went to watch wishing stairs.. haiz..no hidden track at jubiee ..i mux watch that show!! hehe...jay rulx... bought his new cd on wed too... his 2 new songs beri nice!! wishing stairs... quite scary la...but the story not bad lo...

okok..finally tdae...hm came dowm to watch holland V(taped) then yvonne called me...really glad to hear her call...it partly my fault too...anyway..really glas that she found her happiness now.. really...muz cherish oki!! anyway..frens forever!! miss ya all too~~!!

had a busy day at work today too(but fun)..somemore was a little sick...damm sore thoart...so many pple got it ...muz be the weather... drink more water k peeps!! TAKE CARE!!

2003-11-11T00:17:00.000+08:00

hmz...was working today...so nth much special actually happen... thou tring..but was quite fun... always kanna teasing..but si guan jiu hao...

went out yest...wasnt as expected.. dunno wat got into me... juz had a kind of feeling that is very hard to describe..haiz..dunno also... ig uess my down period of my life is here again.. haiz... frenship is really hard to maintain...esp one...haiz..i oso dunno,....dun feel like entering anymore le.....

2003-11-09T01:10:00.000+08:00

hAd a tiring day... juz came out from bathing.. haa... it was very busy at sakura today and its walking non-stop for me.. arms and leg wanna give way le.. but its very nice working there and working keep my mind away from unhappiness in my outside life.. thou busy but it was enjoyable.. and miss my collegues coz never work for 5 days due to exam..hee..so was happy to see them again....

act wanted to go katong in the afternoon (sun) but was cancelled coz we dunno how to go there ... i will not be working tml too.. so i guess it will be stoning time at home le.. perhaps i can take this oppurtunity to pack my stuff lo... anyway wrote my blog in the afternoon (sat ) le so nth much now.. think going to zZzz soon le... so tired...

2003-11-08T13:45:00.000+08:00

hAd mY lasT papEr yeSt~!! finally... was bus stats..hopefully i can do well for this paper... anyway... reach home abt 1240 then chatted with sHuyi until 2 plus! so never update my blog... haha...but anyway yest was quite an interesting day~! =)
aFter the exams we went to collect the comm skills result... haha... didn't do well but happy liao coz i expect to fail lo... dozing off during the exam lo..haha..can pass very happy le... ya

then went to meet qR to go nTuc coz goin to her house to make sushi~!! haha... excited... my first time.. yeah... after reaching her house eat and prepare the ingredients for makin the sushi, we begin to start wrapping~! haha... my first attempt is a total failure lo!! dunno how to use the bamboo to wrap then too greesy put too much ingredients.. =p but my second attempt was not bad k~! hehe.. manage to get the hand le... hmz...then qR say want to give some to sY coz i meeting them later... i oso goin to bring mine along.. after finally finish all, we went to change coz i goin out and qR goin jogging.. she super determined lo... anyway.. had much fun making the sushi... hehe...

the next interesting part of the day was to go meet sy and all for dinner.. haha..i was late for 30mins.. hehe.. pai seh.. anyway... we went to the nubar at ssc for dinner... the food not bad lo.. but service kns... anyway.. sy say every friday we shall hav a friday dinner as qu chan.. hmz.. very nice.. can go out eat and play...we also took some photos there coz huimin was ther playin pool then she used her classmates digi cam to take photos.. =) hehe... very kai xin.. hope that we will be able to take photos whenever we hav friday dinner so can keep for memorance~ haa... well after eating we wanted to play pool but too many pple lo so in the end we dunno where to go hence we decided to go play pool at snookerium... only play for a while coz mama want me to go home le... =( but nvm~ overall had a very happy and exciting day... looking forward to the next FD at amk breeKs~!!

hmz...think i getting quite lo so oso shall not write le... haha... still gotta go work later.. feel so lazy hehe.. ^o^

2003-11-06T16:17:00.000+08:00

hmz... there no paper today.. meaning dun hav sch.. finally i can slp abit later... but i woke up rather early lor... at 1030... not used to slping late now i guess..
started on my bus stats revision but didn't do much... juz practice the last few chap... now trying to do the bus stats past year paper... but realised that i am stuck at the first Q!! the ans is wrong from the teacher by a bit.. but i cant find the correct ans lei.. anyway.. nothing much loh.. juz suddenly feel like writing sth..slacking again..hee..
oh ya... juz now realised that i got alot of things to do! need to sort out my photos and stuff.. gotta fins some time to do it! hmz.. actually got alot of things i can do but always lazy.. haha..as usual .. ok la... gonna try my questions again.. well thats it.. tata..
cheers to the last paper!! ^o^ gd lucks eVeryone~

2003-11-05T22:53:00.000+08:00

haa...as usual...i am lazy to write blog again...finally came again... coz juz now sy mention blog... then i think..hmz...yah..i got blog...but only entered once...so decided to write some things here now... had my CSA exams today .... no question i confident of answering one lo...haha...but then again ...i oso never study la...slacking away the whole day yest... saw yvonne with ce today... dunno y... my feeling with her like become very mo shen le... hope that is because i think too much la...but anyway...

after having my paper...haha...(i left quite early loh... gave up on it)... went for lunch with sy, wl and sx... i think quite long we like never go out eat together after sch le ...not bad... but the pasta at pasta mania cmi lo...the clam chowder like....urgh.... haa... then after talk talk...then go home..

acc sy go sx house the his super big bag.. then chatted for quite some time... rather heartwarming... coz quite some time never chat liao...then after that hor... that sy.. ask me to go her house... yishun lo when i already in amk and so near my house... haha...but nvm la... since she every time come amk then sometimes also go yishun lo... haha... see sy...l act i oso not bad one loh... anyway.. saw alot of photos at her house... very memorable her life... kinda regret never cherish all my past times... but its over le... ren yao wang qian kan!!! i hope that i will learn to cherish all my times ahead from this moment onwards.!!! *meMoRies* ...hmz... then aftter watch tv until 10 pm then go home lor..so late liao... but yuan lai from yishun to amk take mrt la... really very fast lo...1/2 hour only... juz reached home on comp liao...hehe... haven bath... ok la...goin to get ready to go bath le...^smelly^ haha.... ( hope i can jian ci to write my blog!)

2003-10-21T23:16:00.000+08:00

hmz...juz had my last presentation for this sem today...its finally all over...i think i really need a gooood rest... somehow felt so lonely...thou i know lottas pple but there aint one hu is able to click well with me...i guess the faults lies with me...haiz...watever it is perhaps its fated that my life is like this..was rather dissappointed at someone too she does not seem to bother about me nowadays...rather sick of taking the initiative to go find her...dun feel like entering any more sad things le..hope that i can write some happy stuffs here in the near future.....